What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.

My firsts…

 

You never know what the future holds…

“The goal isn’t to live forever, it’s to create something that will.”

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My vision as a Mason student leader is a campus community where students with marginalized identities feel supported, included, and empowered. The reason why I care so passionately about empowering marginalized students is because I spent my entire childhood feeling marginalized because of my identity and I know how detrimental that can be on a person’s self-esteem and self-perception. I never felt like I fit in when I was younger because I was slapped with many different labels.

 

It was hard to navigate my identity at home because my parents come from different cultures and their families speak different languages. My mom is Chinese and my dad is Vietnamese. I was considered too Vietnamese to my mom’s side of the family and too Chinese to my dad’s family. To both sides of the family, I was too American because I couldn’t speak Cantonese or Vietnamese well. At school, I was labeled as “that quiet Asian girl.”

 

As a child, I suffered from selective mutism. I often felt like the world was looking at me expectantly. “Uh,” I’d reply intelligently, while barely resisting the urge to fidget, cheeks flushing impossibly red. While my face was frozen in place, the only things moving were the butterfly wings vibrating in my stomach. Unsurprisingly, most of my interactions were limited to me nodding my head awkwardly while shuffling my feet.

 

Starting school was a bit of a cultural shock for me. I suddenly became aware that I wasn’t “normal” and it was disorienting. It inhibited my learning and my ability to make friends, and I was at an age where successful interactions with peers were just as important as being able to recite the alphabet. It wasn’t immediate, but the looks from my classmates began, slightly more mistrustful the longer it went, yet I still didn’t speak. They were children, not fully understanding what it meant to not have a voice but knowing it was different. Knowing it was weird. I wasn’t intentionally ostracized but as cliques formed I wasn’t among them.

 

However, there was one striking presence in my life: my counselor. She never pressured me to speak and we found unconventional methods to communicate. Although we never exchanged words, I knew I was being heard, and it made the greatest difference. From then on, I made it my goal to adjust to school and my classmates; I wanted to get better grades and make friends.

 

With great determination, I conquered my fears. First, I started small. I began holding my head high, and looking others in the eye. Then I smiled and said “Hello” when greeted by my classmates. I learned to stop apologizing all the time, and how to relax and be quick to laugh at myself (but not others!). Eventually I learned to expect other people to believe in me, and to see and appreciate my good qualities. Months later, before I knew it, I had developed a close circle of friends and I had the highest grade in class. Eventually, I even joined the school broadcasting club and became an anchor. Every morning, pink would dust my cheeks as the cameras started to roll but I always strived to do my best.

 

Now, as a Mason student leader, I try to talk to people wherever I go – whether it’s starting conversations with friends or casually greeting strangers. I push myself outside of my comfort zone and it gives me the confidence and motivation required to flourish both socially and academically. As a Leadership Consultant I hope that I can positively influence other students just like my guidance counselor inspired me. I want to expand people’s perception of what it means to be a student leader in order to create an intersectional community. Today, the world still remains nebulous and strange in my eyes, but I no longer use my silence as an excuse to hide. I use my voice and influence to advocate for others and empower students with marginalized identities so that they don’t feel marginalized while on campus.

 

LEAD is by far one of the best places that I’ve ever worked. I’m constantly surrounded by an amazing environment of supportive people. Working as an LC this past year has brought me so much genuine joy, and I’m looking forward to continue working in LEAD. My biggest reasons for wanting to come back are for personal growth and self-confidence building. For instance, I no longer freak about public speaking the way I would have as a freshman. I still stressed out about preparing the content of the presentation, of course, but my fear of speaking in front of a crowd has pretty much diminished. I think the moment when this really dawned on me was a few weeks ago in Nick’s class. I was talking with my group about our 30-minute presentation, and most of my group seemed pretty worried about having to present for such a long time, but I wasn’t worried at all about the time because I’ve already presented so many times for L-TEAM and Active Leaders. The fact that I was so at ease about presenting in class would have totally astounded me just a year ago. I think it’s really amazing how much personal growth and self-confidence I’ve gained through this position.

What’s next?

Thank You!